Okay, so we’ll be honest: it’s scary when you imagine you have to tell your kids about other people. Not to freak them out, but so they can be safe. You must balance training them and getting them to be paranoid little detectives.
You know what? You’re not done. You’ve got this, just as if it were a discussion with a friend (or your kids, in this instance) about something serious.
Why all this “stranger danger” stuff anyway? This is an old cliche, but so what? That’s the word that’s been drilled into our skulls for decades, but it’s more than just telling your little ones that everyone outside the family is a criminal. That’s not really true and fair. No one is scary; all strangers are not strangers you haven’t yet met. So, how are we supposed to do that without turning kids into cultists?
Now, let’s explore how to engage that dialogue. So get your coffee (or juice box, fair play), and let’s get in the groove!
The “Stranger” Conspiracy: Strangers aren’t All Bad.
OK, first of all, not all strangers are bad guys. There’s this cliché that everybody is bad. Yes, you want to be safe, but you shouldn’t treat every face you meet with a gun. It’s like telling kids, “Don’t talk to strangers,” and expecting children to be nice when they bump into someone in the grocery store. It’s not really the one we want to send.
Moreover, the people who can hurt us are generally people we know (blech, but so), not some stranger on the street.
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) says that the majority of missing children are abducted by someone they know – a relative, friend, neighbor, or family member. So yes, we should always be wary of strangers, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be wary of a risky situation no matter who they are or have never met.
The “What Should I Teach My Kid About Strangers?” List.
But what exactly do you need to teach your child? Here are a few tips that are easy, transparent, and kid-friendly.
How Not to Scare Your Children.
Don’t startle your kid while talking about strangers. You do not want them to be afraid of the world, but you want them to be wary.
Now here’s the thing: if we are going to talk about “stranger danger,” we often mislead children—that all strangers are bad or that anyone they don’t know is a danger. That might make them anxious or a little cynical about the world, and we don’t want that.
Don’t talk to strangers, but something like “You have to be careful and be close to a trusted adult when you’re out and about.” Tell them they still need to be cautious, but the world isn’t a bad place where everyone is nice and helpful.
Introducing Technology to Keep Your Kids Safe.
Now, talking to children about strangers also includes talking about internet safety. Strangers surround them on the internet, and you should be talking to your kids about not trusting strangers on the internet as much as you talk to them about people they might not know in the real world.
Rule No Sharing Name, Address, or School Information with Anyone On-The-Net—Rules. Also, do not get out in public without asking first if they are alright with you. It’s about giving them the knowledge to be safe in person and online.
CLICK HERE for Cybersecurity & Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) Cybersecurity Tips for Kids,([CISA Cybersecurity Tips for Parents](https://www.cisa.gov/cybersecurity) Cybersecurity Tips for Kids : [CISA Cybersecurity Tips for Parents](https://www.cisa.gov/cybersecurity) to get more Cybersecurity Tips for Kids.
What to Do at Different Ages: How to Start the Conversation.
A toddler’s view of the world will not be much like a preteen’s. So make sure to do it depending on your kid’s age and level of learning.
Toddlers and Preschoolers: For younger children, it should be about making little rules, such as, “Talk only to people you know” and “Don’t leave with anyone until I say no.” When your kids are young, they see and hear about the world, so make these little rules early on.
Kids of Elementary School Level: They can begin to grasp more complex ideas with age. Explain how they can spot safe adults (teachers, police officers, etc.) ) and what to do when someone puts them off. Role-playing situations in which they also practice “no” or request help are super powerful.
Tweens and Teens: This is where you can talk more about online safety, peer pressure, and boundaries with people you know and those you don’t. Tell them it’s about their safety, and never ask them to do something they don’t want to. Encourage them to maintain the channels so they never have to contact you with anything suspicious.
The Importance of Reassurance
It’s perfectly fine to tell your children that, on the whole, everybody they encounter is nice. Indeed, when they feel safe and calm, they will return to you when they’re in a quandary. They are to be empowered, not terrified.
Share that they can always count on you in times of need. Sometimes, all a child requires is the feeling that someone in an adult’s life is watching over them and who will come for them if anything should happen.
Conclusion: Keep Cool and Steady: How to Keep Ahead of the Storm?
But really, when it comes to strangers, that’s about as much as you will talk to your kids. This needn’t be an “talk”, though. Be calm, be real and empowerable. Talk to your kids like you’re walking them through the world, not as if you’re telling them about everything that could go wrong.
And remember: it’s all about proportion. You don’t want your kids to know the dangers of being around strangers, but you don’t want them to fear every new person. Communicate openly and let them know you’re there for them no matter what life has thrown at them.
Check out more professional tips for keeping your kids safe from **NCMEC** ([Missing Kids Help](https://www.missingkids.org)) and **Safe Kids Worldwide** ([Safe Kids Tips](https://www.safekids.org)).
So have that talk now. You’ve got this.