Is it time for preschool? It’s a big step! The excitement: new pals, new fun, a too-cute-to-bear tiny backpack. The dread: sending your child out into the world (even if that world is a nursery for half the day) is a big deal.
How can you tell if he’s ready? How can you know if he can handle it, and will flourish or will cry the entire time? And will miss you too much? And what if, secretly, it’s not him, but you that’s not ready yet? (It’s okay: we’ve all been there.
It’s such a personal decision, but there are several pretty big clues when your child might be ready to hit the preschool scene. So what are the big clues? Need some real-world parent examples? Interested in surprising stats? Tips to keep the process on track? Here’s the information you need to send your child to preschool with confidence.
1. They Show Curiosity About the World
Is your little darling constantly asking the dreaded why? If you’re busy answering more questions than a game show host, then that’s a pretty sure sign your child is curious. Preschool is where kids get to *really* explore – from sharing a toy (trust me, a seriously important life skill), to creating green paint when you mix blue with yellow. Green.
Preschoolers aged three to four start sponging in a big way. And once they start asking questions – say, about why birds fly, or how cookies bake – it is a sign that they’re ready for a new environment. Preschool’s surfeit of ‘wows’ acts to convert the ‘whys’.
**Anecdote:** My niece was three-and-a-half when she started peppering me with a million questions about bugs every time we hung out. Why do they have legs when dogs don’t? Why do they have so many legs? Why aren’t they fluffy? And why do they crawl around?
That curious questioning was the first warning sign that she needed more activities and learning than I could provide while she was visiting. (And two months into preschool, she was explaining to *me* the life cycle of a butterfly!
2. They Crave Social Interaction
Think of the last time you took your child to a park or to a playdate. Did he run to join other kids? Did he want to play with other children, even if at first he was shy about doing so? If you’ve noticed your child enjoying (or at least tolerating) playing with other children, it’s probably time to start thinking about preschool.
Preschool is a crash course in social skills: how to share toys, take turns, negotiate the sometimes precarious business of making friends – things that, even if your child can be a practical, independent cog in the family machine, may for the first time be expected from him in the company of other children. Children begin to learn how to be really friendly in preschool, too: many, even if tentative at first, will discover their first true friends there.
**Tidbit:** Preschoolers (three- to five-year-olds) need to spend time with other children so they can learn to empathize, cooperate and solve problems, according to the US organization the National Institute for Early Education Research (NIEER). Isn’t that the beginning of being a mini-diplomat?
3. They’re Starting to Gain Independence
Perhaps the best indicator that your child is pres that they’re apt to ask you for it more and more: ‘I do my zippy!’ ‘No-me feed you. Me feed me!’ ‘You let me drive, Mommy!’ In the glorious months when she was convinced she’d earned a bike ahead of her three buddies, we took our laps around the block – occasionally bested, as it would happen, by a baby who wobbled off at oblique angles.
It’s frustrating at times (putting on your shoes? Pouring cereal? Because really), but by sparring in this way, she’s inching toward believing in her own smash-and-grab capabilities. She’s building confidence in herself.
The school day for a preschooler is riddled with tiny independence builders, from putting his or her daybag hooks and zipping the bag up by themselves before sitting at the breakfast table, to the moment they push in a chair and shove it under the table after a snack, to depositing a lunch box on a shelf. Those little kids in preschool when asked are expected to be ‘big kids’ and do the little things they can.
**Mum in real life:** A friend of mine told me about how her first child wanted to get dressed by himself for the first time. He had socks on his hands and shorts on his head but, the way he did it, he was *so proud*. Within weeks at preschool, he could get himself ready itself. Now he needs to choose his own clothes every morning, which is win-win.
4. They Can Follow Simple Instructions
But, honestly, no two-year-old is doing this all day, every day (or at least my son isn’t) – so if she can follow a multi-step command (‘Please clean up your toys and put them in the basket’), she’s probably ready for preschool structure.
Preschools are a relatively structured environment, so kids who can follow simple instructions can prosper within them. We’re talking circle time, lunchtime, playtime. Sure, they need a little direction. But, fear not. Preschool teachers learn how to make it fun while teaching them those essential listening and sharing skills.
Pop quiz: Can your child follow a two-step direction? If not, don’t sweat it – preschools are designed to help kids practize listening skills … Listen, kid, this is your listening workout!
5. Potty Training Progress
This is one of the bigger issues. Most preschools have policies requiring children to be toilet trained (or at least well on their way). Not every child is completely toilet trained by three or four years of age, of course; but if your child is exhibiting some of the tell-tale signs of potential toilet training (telling you when they need to go, for example, or sitting on the potty), you might be ready for preschool.
The routine of preschool can actually cement your potty-training routine. Most preschools have set potty times, which can provide kids with an opportunity to practise day after day. Witnessing others’ potty experiences can sometimes do the trick too.
**Parent stat:** The American Academy of Pediatricians estimates that most kids are potty trained between the ages of 3 and 4, but every child is different, so if yours isn’t quite there yet, there’s no need to worry. Reach out to the preschool to learn more about their policies on potty training.
6. They Handle Separation (Relatively) Well
And here is the big, emotional one: how is your child when you drop off? Is he clinging to your leg for dear life, or is he OK to go a bit on his own (even if he does cry at first)?
Separation anxiety is normal for children, especially if they have not previously spent large blocks of time away from you. If your child doesn’t lose it when she is left with a child care provider, an aunt or a family friend, and hasn’t lost it in the church nursery either, you can feel confident that she’s ready for preschool.
Preschool may not quite do away with separation anxiety, but if your child figures out that preschool is a blast with lots of other friends and train sets to play with, you’ll be in for a few last-minute clinging drops-offs but within a matter of a few weeks they will be running away without a look back. (Of course, if they don’t – no matter, that’s who they are.)
**Teacher story:** My preschool-teaching friend Katie reports that even the shiest kids warm up. One girl in her class refused to let go of her mom each morning for the first 14 days. By the third week, though, she was toddling away to find her buddies at the paint station. Preschool pixie dust!
7. They Have the Energy for It!
Preschool is exhausting. There is play, of course, and learning, and orchestrating all those social relationships. Has your child got the energy for all this?
If your child can tolerate a few hours of not napping or a full meltdown, then he’s probably a contender for the preschool grind. The daily agenda of preschool is fairly predictable, which means that even kids who nap can make the transition (many preschools have rest or quiet time built into the day).
Tip: if your child needs to nap, look for a preschool that allows kids to rest quietly. Napping – or at least resting – is the norm, especially for younger age groups.
Wrapping It All Up
You might also feel a pang of nervousness about whether your child is really ready for preschool or not. Nevertheless, it’s important to remember that nobody knows your child better than you, so if they are displaying curiosity, independence and some ability to handle a bit of separation, then they’re probably ready. If not, that’s fine, too. Every child is different and develops at an individual pace.
But savour it. This is only the start of a long process, a beautiful journey of learning and growing together. If it’s the right time for them now, great, do it; if they need more time – and yes, they probably do – that’s fine too. The good news is that in the end it all works out just the way it’s supposed to, just for *your* child.
And remember: those first drop-offs might be hard, but they won’t be for long: soon, they’ll be tearing away from you to tell you all about the new friend they made or the dinosaur they drew at arts-and-crafts. Get ready to have some major moments of pride.