Many young children & young people who have faced unfavourable life experiences or distress have almost certainly experienced chaos, pain and loss of control in their lives. This unpredictability can impact on the child or young person most times of changes and uncertainty due to a high sense of danger.
Routines are traditionally provided generated and organized through the attachment system when primary caregivers structure a toddler life with frequent feeds, sleep patterns, interaction as well and creativity; all of which builds predictability and rhythm.
As the baby start developing and grows they start to internalize these patterns of structure, which enables a sense of predictability and safety to happen.
The growing child learns to trust and has a sense that the world is safe and good. If a child or toddler has had good enough predictable and safe experiences housing routine and structure; and when a routine is changed or different they will have resources to cope because they have experienced the world as being safe.
If a child grows with distress, unpredictability and fear, the structure and routine will be something new and potentially threatening; which may prompt the stress response system into fight or freeze. These survival responses may become more pronounced at bedtimes, mealtimes, or other transition points since times may have been instants of vulnerability or stress itself.
To feel safe, children, young people, toddlers may have developed some seemingly robust ways of trying to cope, To gain self-control that are insight as dangerous. Building routines into their lives is really important to soften any powerful triggers associated with transition.
IMPORTANCE OF ROUTINES
Maintaining and developing predictable routines can often help children & young people to feel safe and develop a sense of security and safety. Looked-after children & young children and previously looked-after children in particular need to have routines provided because a daily routine can offer predictability and coherence over time, leading to a high sense of feeling safe and secure.
Sense of security and control over their environment
Routines give children a sense of security and control over their environment. A predictable, well-planned, structured and frequent routine at home, makes children and young people feel safe, secure and looked after. This is more so, especially during unusual or tough times and during different or difficult stages of development.
Predictable routines help families spend time together organize themselves, and know who does what, when, how, and in what order offering structure. The predictability gives children and young people a high sense of security that enables trust to develop.
Developing routines increases safety in the relationship and the environment because the child or toddler begins to trust what will happen with no energy needed for survival.
FLEXIBILITY
Aim for consistency and build in flexibility.
Maintaining daily or weekly routines offer a wealth of benefits; however, it is necessary to stay flexible. It is vital to stay sensitive and adaptable to the needs of each child, young person, adult and the situation. Creativity is important factors in a child or young person’s life. For instance, if part of the washing the dishes within the breakfast routine becomes disrupted because there is a phone call.
Then maybe it is fine to take the call and hold on with the washing up. Such little changes need to be planned for by you as the responsible adult. They need to be told at the time they occur.
It is totally important to be aware of routines and schedules that can seem or become too hard. A schedule is a plan for making out a process or procedure, showing dates or times when they occur. If the routines are too strict with no flexibility at all, then the advantage of the routine will be shortened. Children may feel controlled by the routine rather than feeling that they have any control.
This is particularly so for looking after children & young people and previously looked after children due to potential lived experiences where they have absorbed chaos. Change may be needed at unusual times and adaptations may be needed on tough circumstances.
It is important to build in awareness of the potential for adjustment to a routine and in developing the skills of children and young people to be able to relate to any change of routine needed. This will enable a child to adapt easily and fast if a difference is needed.
Family life can be smoother with few consistent and predictable routines. It is about getting a balance with the child.
EXAMPLES OF ROUTINES
DAILY
Morning routine, mealtimes, cleanliness and self-care, play & creativity, school/ college work, homework, family time, bedtime.
WEEKLY
Playing, cleaning, and visiting people and places, hobbies, washing and certain meals on certain days.
OTHER ROUTINES
Visit to other family members and siblings, holidays, extended family/ friend gatherings and celebrations, therapist or social worker.
GOALS OF ROUTINES
Establishing a routine is about promoting the well-being of looked after children and young people and previously looked after children & young people by establishing predictability by supporting regulation of experience and in developing a sense of safety.
A BALANCED VIEW
A balanced between structure and flexibility is required. Notice the interactions and intersection between routine, structure and the functioning of the child over time. If carry out a structure or routine consistently increases the child or toddler’s distress consider moving the routine or relate to it.
If as a caregiver there is too much flexibility that leads to increased controlling strategies by the young person, consider increasing the structure.
TUNING IN TO CHANGES
As a child or young person even a toddler develops with age, maturity and as a sense of safety increases or reduces; tune in to changes and what might need to be different. A child may need more or less co-regulation and soothing; or may need more time and ways to develop and use their self-soothing or affect regulation strategies.
CHILD AND YOUNG PERSON-CENTRED
Every child & young person is special and will have had different lived knowledge that will have impacted upon them differently.
It is very important to be thoughtful of the stage of development not age of development of the young person or toddler, so that routines and schedules hold personal experience and stages of development in mind.
Considering how routines can be performed and what exceptions may be needed. For example, the young person may need 10 minutes of relaxation after completing school or college work, build personalization into the routines and be flexible.
INVOLVEMENT AND PARTICIPATION
Research make us known that the more involved and the more a child participates in what is going on in their life the more autonomy they have. This gives a sense of control. This sense of control gives power, meaning and increases motivation and a positive sense of self.
BENEFITS OF ROUTINES
SAFETY & BELONGING
An organized and predictable home environment will help children & young people to feel secure. Particularly in stressful or tough times or during challenging stages of development. A pattern interaction gives a sense of regularity and predictability which reinforces family identity and enhances a sense of belonging.
BONDING AND CLOSENESS
When a child knows what to expect and notices frequent family activities, they can begin to understand what is important to the family and them. This can give a sense of bonding and strengthen connections with shared values, shared beliefs and shared interests.
The child might notice that watching a certain TV program together during weekends is important; highlighting that family time together is amazing and special. A family bonds and unites by doing regular shared activities together.
Developing routines that can be built around having enjoyment or spending time together can strengthen family relationships. For example, reading a storybook together before bed or having a special drink of hot chocolate after a few hours of school. Work can become a special time for you and the child.
SKILL DEVELOPMENT
Having a specific purpose to do in a family routine can aid children & young people to develop a sense of responsibility and fairness. Skills that can be developed are time management, responsibility and improving independence.
Some tasks will also improve specific skills such as laying a table for breakfast will develop skills that can be used for a career in hospitality.
ESTABLISHING HEALTHY HABITS
Teaching healthy habits such as brushing teeth twice a day, washing hands, getting exercise, and washing hands regularly after using the toilet can assist children to take an important part in healthy habits up learning through modelling and observation.