As every parent knows, Toddler tantrums are a common and sometimes exasperating part of childhood. But when these breakdowns happen in public, like at a supermarket, restaurant, or park, they are all the more traumatic. All you need to know is why tantrums occur and how to approach them calmly and confidently.
We’ll be revealing to you in this article why toddlers throw tantrums, why they happen in public, and some quick and easy strategies for handling these times. We’ll even throw in some insider advice from industry insiders.
Why Do Toddlers Throw Tantrums?
The toddler tantrum typically happens between the ages of 1 and 3 years when your toddler goes through significant milestones. At this point, toddlers can be taught to manage their emotions, communicate, and self-manage, but they don’t have the skills to control their feelings or communicate through words.
Voici some of the most common reasons toddlers throw tantrums:
Major Complaints
Toddlers are very troubled when they cannot do something they would like to do or not express themselves clearly.
Overstimulation
Noise, light, or crowded environment may trigger meltdowns in toddlers.
Creative Desire for Control
Toddlers want to control and become angry when they’re not in charge of something.
Hunger or Fatigue
Feeling hungry or tired is a mere need, and will throw a tantrum if the child is angry.
Attention-Seeking
Some toddlers cry to be noticed, primarily when not being heard.
Knowing these triggers can allow you to stay at bay and contain tantrums.
Tantrums in Public: Why?
Even if you can manage temper tantrums at home, outside it, when other people are around, the extra weight of who’s watching is sometimes just too much. Voici some of the reasons why tantrums might be more prevalent or more intense in public:
Advantages: The loud, noisy place can damper things if your toddler is tired and frustrated.
New Places: Babies are safest in new situations. Changes in surroundings or habits – a trip to the store or a new daycare – can cause panic and tantrums.
Fear of Waiting: Babies do not yet have time to stand in lines or feel the pain of waiting, which causes tantrums.
Fuel from Social Pressure: Social pressure comes with the territory. Parents might be ashamed of their child’s actions, and children may react to others.
If public screaming sounds like hell, don’t forget it’s normal for toddlers. You’re not the only one, and parents go through this.
How to Deal with Toddler Tantrums in Public
With the tantrums induced now in mind, here are a few easy steps to take to deal with them in public.
1. Still and Take Deep Breaths
When your toddler gets upset or looks like a big fool in public, you may get mad and embarrassed, but don’t let it get to you. Children are susceptible to their parents’ feelings. : You might panic or rage, and your kid may profit off that rage, exacerbating the issue.
Instead, breathe deeply to relax. But this is a phase, and your kid is not intentionally being bad. Keeping your cool will enable you to think clearly and respond in a manner that is good for you and your child.
2. Acknowledge Your Child’s Feelings
When your child begins to fight, be a part of their process. Then, to respond: “I know you’re mad that you want that toy.” Makes them feel more listened to. Your toddler can’t explain his feelings, so when you name it, that helps him figure it out.
You don’t need to solve it immediately, but acknowledging your child’s feelings makes them feel better, and they can name their feelings, which eventually translates into emotional intelligence.
3. Offer Distractions
Sometimes, just being distracted can prevent a tantrum from continuing. Offer a toy, switch the topic, or play a silly game. These will distract your toddler from what caused the tantrum. This is especially handy in public places where your child might be overstimulated or overwhelmed.
If, for instance, you’re at the grocery store and your kid is screaming that they don’t like something on the shelf, offer a toy you have in your purse or sing a favourite song to keep their attention.
4. Use a Calm, Firm Voice
If you must draw a line or make a statement about your child’s behaviour, do so politely and gently. A toddler might cry because they feel like they’re not in charge of anything, and strict rules can feel safe.
(ex: “We aren’t buying that toy today, but we can pick out another when we get home.”), and keep your promise. Negotiating, not accepting, and allowing this will lead to further bad habits.
5. Put Your Child Out of the Scene
: If the tantrum goes on too long and you suspect it’s getting out of control, remove your child from the overstimulating situation. This is not a tactic to give up or “win” your child but to de-escalate the situation.
So go for a short walk or go somewhere you can let your kid cool off. And sometimes, a quick respite from the noise and mess of a public space is all they need to reset.
6. Be Consistent with Your Responses
You must stay the course when dealing with toddler tantrums in public and at home. If you don’t react the same way each time your child throws a tantrum, it will be a deception for them and make the behaviour challenging.
For instance, if you sometimes cave into a tantrum and buy your kid the toy he is begging for, then he’ll soon learn that a tantrum gets him what he wants. Follow through with boundaries and expectations so your child knows what to expect.
7. Bad Things In Advance*Be Prepared For The Bad Things In Advance*
Knowing what to expect can reduce the likelihood of throwing up in public. : If you know you are taking your kid somewhere busy, like a mall or a restaurant, try mentally preparing them for it. Know what to expect, such as line-running or waiting for a meal.
For example, before you take your child to the store, tell them: “We’re going to the store toda,y to buy food but we can’t get any toys. We’ll make it through, and then we can drive home.” It gives you a baseline, and your child feels in control.
8. Offer Praise for Good Behavior
When a tantrum is over, encourage your child to calm down or behave when things have been put to bed. Positive reinforcement teaches toddlers what’s expected and encourages them to perform those positive behaviours more often.
For instance, “Look how awesome you are for taking a deep breath and calming down when you are frustrated,” etc., to incentivize the behaviour you’re looking for.
When to Call In Experts for Assistance
Most toddler tantrums are normal and don’t need treatment. But there are times when you need the help of a paediatrician or child psychologist:
– *If tantrums get more frequent or worse* than usual, or your child cannot settle down after a tantrum.
– *If your child is aggressive*, such as hitting, biting, or throwing things in an attempt to be uncontrollable.
– *If you are feeling overstressed or anxious** where it’s damaging your mental or emotional health.
If so, a specialist can determine if there’s an underlying problem (a sensory processing disorder, for example, or another developmental challenge) and offer advice on managing the pressures of parenting.
Conclusion
Managing toddler tantrums in public is tricky, but there is a normal development of tantrums in childhood. You can work through these difficult situations with patience and confidence once you know the reasons for tantrums, keep yourself in check, and have the right strategies.
Don’t worry; you aren’t alone. Many parents struggle, too, and consulting professionals or other parents can help guide you. If you need more professional information about child behavior and emotions, go to sources such as [The American Academy of Pediatrics](https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/), which contains many valuable tips on parenting your child when it’s hard.
Being a parent is hard, but you can weather the toddlerhood storm with some planning and preparation.