Did your toddler just turn into a little energy ball one minute and a cute, cranky monster the next? Don’t worry. You’re not alone, and it’s normal. If you’re like me, you probably wondered what has gotten into them lately. They were giggling and happy one minute and having an epic meltdown the next.
It’s like there is a light switch they can’t turn off inside of them. In reality, what many frustrated parents experience are just the hard facts about toddlers. It’s called irritability. It’s as though the current model of toddlers simply doesn’t have an off switch, and it’s actually built into their overall design. On top of that, it’s thought that our toddlers don’t appear to have well-defined emotions. You know, things like highs and lows.
They’re just moody and angry or happy and giggly. None of the in-between stuff we would normally call moderate happiness empowers us and gives us storytelling substance. Well, hate to break the news, ladies and gentlemen, but their general lack of good mood and reserves of mellowness is perhaps not their fault at all. That simply might be what their natural baseline happens to look like.
As it turns out, today’s toddlers may be more irritable than ever, and while our parental underdevelopment might be evolving slowly, we are only now learning their language. If you’re wondering if you are losing it, and you feeling really comfortable in those sceptic moods, if too nervously worn by it all, or if you’ve succumbed to the allure of snacks or television or an unfortunate short-sleeved shirt.
That won’t stay tucked in; let me be the first person who observes that toddlers are irrational and irrationally adorable and that you are perhaps coping with these intense conditions better than you think.
If you are still reading this, chances are good you have a toddler. Quite frankly, you wouldn’t be reading about life with toddlers if you didn’t already have one of your very own to drive you mad.
My son Eric was born eight weeks preterm, and, in the beginning, it was hard to distinguish when he was upset about being born so early and dependent on others or if he was just exhausted all of the time. However, as he grew and developed, I slowly started to notice that he was, in fact, hard to please and to calm down on the best of days.
Why Are Naps So Important for Toddlers?
There’s no denying it: a quiet house when your toddler sleeps is heaven on earth. But naps aren’t just for you: they’re developmental, and they’re important for your little one in a number of ways. Here’s why.
Brain Development
Do you know that sleep, including naps, solidifies all of the new things a toddler learns in a day into their memory, like hitting the ‘save’ button for the newest experiences? Research has shown that the kind of memories a toddler forms during waking hours are solidified in toddlers’ memories during sleep by literally re-experiencing and incorporating these new impressions.
This is the magic behind the new words or actions that toddlers seem to zip into their brain repertoire at times; those experiences are immediately followed by naps. The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that brain connections related to a toddler’s development of language, learning skills, and problem-solving acknowledge that the brain is forming important associations during sleep.
It’s mind-blowing, right? With each dream, the developing brain of your toddler puts together another piece of the puzzle of life. From the moment when your child had her first REM (rapid-eye-movement) dream, her developing brain was conscious of something.
Mood Regulation
If you ever had to wrangle a cranky toddler, you know that a nap makes all the difference. Skip the afternoon siesta, and you take your chances with meltdowns, crying jags, or all-out tantrums. Why? First, like any human being, a toddler who’s not well-rested is a bit of a loser. Overtired, she’s less able to regulate her emotions. She can’t manage stress, frustration or excitement – the hazards of playdates, snacks and paediatrician appointments alike.
Indeed, a study by the National Sleep Foundation reports that toddlers are 10 times more likely to have anxiety and mood issues during the day if they miss their nap. We won’t guarantee that a nap will avoid the next tantrum, but you’ll lower your chances of facing it in the middle of the grocery store!
Physical Growth
Have you ever noticed that your child looks taller or like she or he ‘grew overnight’ in the morning after a nap? Well, it’s not just your imagination. Growth, specifically physical development, is one of the key functions of sleep. During a nap, growth hormone is released and this is an essential factor in your child’s bone and muscle growth. Nap time is like your body’s ‘growth accelerator’.
The Sleep Foundation says that toddlers should be getting somewhere between 12-14 hours of sleep a day, and, yes, that accounts for their naps. If your child is getting enough sleep, their bodies will grow reasonably – so, if you want them to fit into next season’s shoes (at least!), then get them into that nap!
How Much Sleep Do Toddlers Really Need?
Okay: Now things get interesting! The average amount of sleep a toddler needs can start to change depending on age and activity level. Here’s a basic breakdown.
1 to 2 years: 11 to 14 hours Total Sleep / 24 Hours; 1 to 2 Naps A Day
– **3 to 5 years old**: 10 to 13 hours of sleep, decrease to one nap a day or none at all by 5 years.
Most toddlers should be getting at least one good nap a day until age 3; or 4, and some kids this age will still want or need that afternoon snooze, while others could be ready to pull an all-nighter. But if older kids are just plain grouchy or seem to lack verbal skills or executive functioning skills, and especially if they are under-sleeping and moody after a good night’s sleep, it might be time to reinstate the previous sunset.
The Benefits of Consistent Naps
Regularity is the name of the game when it comes to naps. Adults benefit from the routine of maintaining a regular schedule, and so do toddlers. Some of the benefits of regular naps include:
Better Nighttime Sleep
This may seem counterintuitive, but a toddler on a regular nap schedule is more likely to get better sleep at night due to being well-rested so that they fall asleep more quickly and sleep for longer hours through the night (no parent wants to wake up a screaming overmailed toddler). Better sleep for everyone is a happy experience.
Research indicates that toddlers who nap on a regular schedule fall asleep more quickly at bedtime and wake fewer times throughout the night. So, sticking with the nap schedule is a win-win for mum and toddler.
Boosted Immune System
Do you know how fussy kids are when they’re coming down with something? Naps can prevent that! Children who nap on a regular basis because they (hopefully) still sleep during the day have a better immune system than those who do not. According to the Mayo Clinic, sleep enhances immune function and helps the body fight infection.
Therefore, the next time your toddler is fighting a nap, just remember, when you put her down at 5 pm, she’s down-regulating her immune system not only for a stronger survival response to fight the next cold.
Enhanced Learning and Creativity
We are all aware that toddlers are sponges and soak up all their surrounding environment. Sleep helps to file away and consolidate the new information so that the toddlers can absorb it. Naps also enhance creativity.
In a 2009 study in the journal Child Development, children who slept after learning new words remembered more details and scored better on memory tests than those who didn’t nap. Their synapses literally need some downtime to process that information. Does your child suddenly remember that he knows the alphabet after a nap? It could be that learning the ABCs was on her mind, but the little neurons weren’t connecting on their own.
Here’s another reason why napping is so essential for your child: when it comes to play, there’s always room for improvement. Some children like to be wide awake to get big challenges done, but for others, a nap is a perfect time to review and refine what they already know, whether it’s how many blocks fit together or how to draw a cat.
How to Make Nap Time Happen (Without a Fight!
It’s that rite of parenting passage – the nap time skirmish – and if you’ve ever not been able to coax a squalling toddler to sleep when there’s not something they’d rather be doing, believe me, I can understand it. Here’s how you win at nap time:
Create a Calm Environment
She also needs a certain set-up to be able to fall asleep, just like you do – turn on a soft light, play some soothing music, or use a white noise machine so that your toddler knows it’s time to sleep (and make this time a relaxing and nurturing part of her day). To help toddlers sleep soundly, some parents swear by the use of dark curtains or blackout blinds that insulate a child’s room from incoming light.
Stick to a Routine
Routines will please toddlers, and the predictable timing of a nap-time routine can be invaluable. First, let them know what’s coming; for example: ‘Mummy is going to read you a little book now because it’s time for your nap.’ Reading a story or singing a lullaby can become the customary activities that follow the heads-up. And before you know it, your toddler will start to get the message and get themselves into bits to settle into slumber.
Watch for Sleepy Cues
Every baby has different signs of tiredness; it could be that they start rubbing their eyes or become a little clingier or fussier. It’s important to realise what your own child’s tired cues are so that you can recognise them and start your nap routine before they become overtired and start fighting sleep.
What to Do When Naps Don’t Happen
Even when you’re sticking to your routine, you’ll have some sleepless days with your baby or toddler. It might be teething, overtiredness, or just an off day for both of you. That’s OK. We’ve all been there! But don’t worry.
On those skip-day afternoons, keep your toddler calm and quiet after lunch and limit stimulating activities at bedtime. You might find that it encourages a slightly earlier bedtime and helps compensate for the lost nap.
And cut yourself some slack! Being a parent is hard work, and you are doing just fine, even with no naps.
Fun Nap-Time Stats for Parents
Did you know…
85 per cent of toddlers aged 1 – 3 take at least one nap per day, according to the National Sleep Foundation …
Children who reported taking a nap daily performed **better on memory and problem-solving tasks** than those who didn’t.
– **A 25 per cent** increase in behavioural issues such as moodiness and tantrums resulted from skipping naps.
If that doesn’t convince you that naps are non-negotiable, I don’t know what will!
Wrapping Up: Naps Are Non-Negotiable
In short, nap time is a best-case scenario for two-year-olds – and for you. It’s brain-boosting, emotion-taming, growth-supporting and night sleep-enabling. So next time your toddler wriggles and kicks against nap time, remember all that those five minutes of shuteye can do.
After all, that quiet time is your gain, too — whether you’re using the time to fold the laundry, take a break yourself, or simply appreciate the silence. Nap time is your golden hour.
So, let’s keep those naps going strong and watch your toddler thrive (